Return to Sender: The Unopened Gifts of Abandonment and Rejection

The sting of rejection and abandonment rings through the tenor of our interactions, with those who are familiar and foreign to us. We may not recognize it, but unresolved childhood abandonment issues wind their way out of our youth and into our adult connections. In its unpleasant way, unhealed pain tends to show itself when we least expect it, but triggered by what makes us feel unsafe in relationships with others.

Abandonment and its underlying root of rejection strike a dissonant chord in our souls. When we encounter Jesus, we not only discover a different way to live, but we also encounter the gifts that God’s acceptance and affirmation bring to our lives (Ephesians 1:6).

Sometimes, we approach the Bible, expecting the scrubbed version of people’s stories. We don’t usually view its characters as ones whose stories resemble the pain in our own. That isn’t the gospel, though.

The good news announces God’s goodness brilliantly contrasting the backdrop of this dark world, where sin intersects with suffering. We can look to our Savior, Jesus to be our inspiration and example of how to navigate the duality of new life in Him with past pain that resurfaces in the present.

Christ was prophesied to be a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). Consequently, Jesus understands the deep pain we encounter in our families. We can see part of our story reflected in His own, tracing His experience with the roots of rejection by those who were familiar to Him.

If Jesus had been looking for familiar people to affirm His call, we might have missed our Messiah. Instead, He allowed His Father in Heaven to identify Him and inform all He did (Mark 1:11). Every miracle, sign, and wonder emerged from the place of already being loved by His Father, not in Jesus’ attempt to earn it.

The Word encourages us that the servant isn’t greater than his Master (John 13:16). If our own Messiah suffered, we will encounter our own variation, but we don’t have to wrestle with it. Right now, we can embrace redemption to not only experience remission of sin but also salve for the soul. We don’t have to bow to the lingering pain of rejection and abandonment. We can arise as sons and daughters, beloved and cherished by the Most High God.

The Father has placed us in families, yet He also knows that we will need more than our earthly relatives to fulfill our divine purpose (Psalm 68:6). Their presence has a role, but their absence may also create an opportunity to connect with spiritual family we didn’t know we had.

God invites us to encounter Him, pointing us toward destiny and often others outside of our family groups. These people will help us complete our kingdom assignments. We must trust the God who orchestrates all things that work together for our good (Romans 8:28). He repurposes the unsightly parts of our experience, transforming our lives into a reflection of His resplendent glory.

Next steps for overcoming abandonment and rejection

You may not regard rejection and abandonment as a gift, but the secret place with God unveils facets of the Lord’s character you might not have seen otherwise. He is near in times of crushing. When brokenhearted, He binds up the wounds inflicted by difficult relationships, abandonment, and rejection (Psalm 34:18; Isaiah 61:1-2).

Receive and remember that as you search this site for resources and schedule with a counselor at Mission Viejo Christian Counseling. You will find the support you need to heal what hurts and open the unlikely treasure afforded by your experience.