Relationship Advice for Women: Tips from the Experts

Healthy, happy relationships don’t just happen. They take effort and commitment. Following are some tips and tidbits of relationship advice for women from the experts to help point you in the right direction.

A relationship is like a garden: Even when it’s doing well, weeds can grow and overtake it.
– Seth J. Gillihan, PhD

Relationship advice for women

Know your worth.

To be the best friend or partner to someone else, you need to value yourself and be the best version of you. Don’t sell yourself short. Be authentic, rather than try to be like someone else. You are a unique human being, worthy of respect, acceptance, and love.

Don’t try to rush things.

A healthy, long-lasting relationship involves more than just physical attraction. It is built on core values such as respect, trust, loyalty, understanding, and emotional support. Getting to really know one another on a deeper level takes time. To build strong bonds that can withstand the test of time, you need to connect emotionally and mentally as well as physically.

Be levelheaded.

Trust your instincts and choose your partner wisely. If you pick up on vibes that don’t sit right with you, listen to your gut feelings. Look for someone who already is the kind of person with whom you would like to be. That would be someone who shares the same values you do, and who is looking for the same things in a relationship that you are. If he doesn’t, don’t try to convince yourself he will change. It’s likely that he won’t.

Have realistic expectations.

Know what issues are most important to you. Don’t settle for less but be realistic in your expectations. Avoid setting overly idealistic standards you expect your partner to meet. No one is perfect. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Be accepting of his flaws and shortcomings and love him the way he is.

Make your expectations known.

Be honest about your expectations and boundaries. Being clear about them is the first step toward building a healthy, sustainable relationship. Learn how to speak your truth in an assertive but loving way, expressing what you want as a personal desire rather than a “should.”

Work on building trust.

Set healthy boundaries, and work on building a strong foundation of trust and respect with your partner. Be empathetic and nonjudgmental toward him, and try not to project or make assumptions based on your own feelings and insecurities.

Don’t be needy.

Resist the urge to continually check on your partner and/or demand every moment of his free time. Needy behavior can be suffocating and push your partner away. Learn to be happy when you’re by yourself.

Have some “me” time.

Don’t neglect your own interests. It is important to take care of yourself and to have some hobbies or outside interests of your own. Too much togetherness can dim the spark of even the happiest relationship. Allowing each other a little space here and there will help you draw closer and appreciate each other more.

Avoid letting your relationship take over your life.

Don’t become so focused on your partner that you abandon your friends for him and give up your interests and hobbies. Good friends are hard to come by and can be a valuable support system. Losing yourself in the relationship can leave you feeling isolated and emotionally depleted.

Avoid gossiping.

Don’t talk badly about your partner behind his back. Your relationship is supposed to be a source of encouragement and support. If you have an issue, discuss it with him. Gossip does not solve the problem and can cause irreversible damage to your relationship by destroying trust.

Keep your relationship private.

Honor your partner by keeping the intimate details of your relationship between the two of you. What goes on there is nobody else’s business. When you vent to others or expose your issues to the world by sharing them on social media, for example, you violate your partner’s privacy.

You might cast him in a negative light, open the door to unwanted opinions that can have a negative influence if they seep into your mind, and create a surefire way to destroy any intimacy or trust between the two of you.

Be willing to compromise.

A relationship is a two-way street that requires some give and take. You and your partner will not always agree. Accept your differences and be willing to make some concessions.

Prioritize your relationship.

Make sure to carve out some time for your partner no matter how busy your day may be, even if it’s by doing something simple such as spending some quiet time together or having a cup of coffee on the patio. It will help you stay connected and show him that you prioritize your relationship with him.

Be happy with simple joys.

Learn to appreciate the simple joys such as cooking a meal together, watching TV while cuddling on the couch, or going out for a short walk.

Express your gratitude.

Don’t take your partner for granted. Look for opportunities to acknowledge him and make him feel cherished and appreciated. Thank him for all the kind, selfless things he does for you, including the small routine gestures such as making you coffee in the morning, taking out the trash, or loading the dishwasher after supper.

Keep communication open and honest.

Good communication is essential for a happy, fulfilling relationship. Your partner cannot read your mind and may have no idea what is going on inside your head. Don’t presume he feels a certain way when he may not. Always assume the best. Speak up in a calm, direct, respectful fashion, using kind and gentle words.

Give him the opportunity to respond and pay full attention to what he is saying. Listen without interrupting. Even if you don’t agree, validate his feelings without being condescending or defensive. Try to see yourselves as a team working together to figure out a productive solution to the problem.

Learn how to resolve arguments in a healthy way.

Disagreements are normal in any relationship. When you have one, be respectful, try to understand where your partner is coming from, and don’t keep score. Stay focused on the current issue, without bringing up past faults.

Address it in a calm and assertive way using “I” statements to express what you are feeling, and without pointing fingers or being judgmental. Allow your partner to do the same. Listen with empathy to his point of view and let go of the need to be right. Look for common ground, be willing to forgive, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Know when to make amends.

Be willing to acknowledge when you are wrong, and say you are sorry if your partner has been hurt by something you said or did. A sincere apology can reduce stress, decrease conflict in your relationship, and open the lines of communication between you.

Build positive relationships with your partner’s family.

Getting to know your partner’s close friends and family shows him you care about them and building positive relationships with them can create an invaluable support network. It also increases the number of activities and events you and your partner can do together.

If you have questions about this article on relationship advice for women or would like to set up an appointment to meet with one of the counselors in our online directory, please don’t hesitate to give us a call. A one-on-one meeting with a Christian counselor can help answer your unique questions when you are seeking relationship advice for women.