Do I Have Anger Issues? Anger Issues Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment

Everybody gets angry sometimes. Enough things happen in this world that can get your blood boiling. Anger is a powerful emotion, and when it is triggered, it can be harnessed to carry out remarkable things. Some people have formed organizations to remedy problems that irked and angered them. Others have been mobilized and become activists who speak to issues that broke their hearts and angered them. The flipside of that is that anger issues are a bit like fire. Channeled well, it can be a great blessing, but left to its own devices it can burn entire forests down.

Uncontrolled anger, or anger that is not expressed well, can do considerable damage to others and our relationships. That makes it critical that we control our anger, and don’t let it control us.

If you’ve already seen troubling effects that your anger has on you and the people in your life, you may have anger issues. You should know the signs of anger issues, understand their causes, and seek help if your anger is negatively affecting your life.

How can I tell if I have anger issues?

Sometimes, anger issues creep up on you. You wake up one morning and realize that you find yourself feeling angry more often than you do not, and if asked, the people around you would likely describe you as “angry.”

In other cases, it may feel like you can trace your struggles with anger to a particular event or situation. Whatever the case may be, there are a few signs you can look out for to tell if you have anger issues. Below are a few signs and symptoms of anger issues.

• Regret over the things I say or do when I’m angry
• Anger that has negatively affected relationships and social life
• Anger over trivial things
• Feeling like you must hide or hold your anger in
• Anger that is out of control
• Pervasive anger
• Shouting, fist-pounding, violence
• Withdrawal, giving others the silent treatment, negative self-talk
• Sarcastic responses, biting humor, or snide and hurtful comments

These and many other acts may signal the presence of anger issues. As the list above shows, having anger issues isn’t just about blowing your top, so to speak. It’s also about whether anger is a constant presence in your life.

If your anger is triggered easily, and whether you express your anger in unhealthy ways that diminish rather than enhance communication and relationship. If anger is an issue in your life, it will affect those around you at home, work, or elsewhere.

What causes anger issues?

There are different causes of anger issues, and depending on the cause, the way to go about dealing with the anger will differ. Some of the causes of anger issues include:

• Family problems, such as grief. Anger is one of the stages of grief, which can stem from the loss of a loved one or divorce.
• Alcohol abuse, which often leads to increased aggression. Alcohol impairs your rational abilities and impulse control, which makes it harder for you to keep your emotions, like anger, in check.
• Stress, whether from work, finances, or another source.
• Feeling unappreciated or being treated unfairly.
• One’s upbringing. A person may not have learned how to manage their angry feelings well. As such, their learned behavior may tend toward expressing their anger aggressively or violently because that’s what they saw the adults in their life doing. Alternatively, one may have been disciplined as a child for expressing anger, which leads to them suppressing their anger, which is equally unhelpful.
• Memories of a traumatic event such as abuse or childhood bullying, and you were not able to safely express those feelings at the time.
• Anger and irritability are often symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other mental health disorders.

God never intended for our lives to be dominated by anger. Instead of anger, God’s desire for people is for their lives to be filled with joy and peace, even in trying circumstances. Whatever the underlying cause of your anger issues, the outlook for treatment is positive, and you should seek help sooner than later.

How to deal with anger

If anger isn’t dealt with it could escalate, and you could do something you would regret for the rest of your life. Here are some self-help tools you can make use of that can help you in properly dealing with anger. If these do not help, consider seeing a therapist or counselor for anger management counseling.

Know yourself.

Some people keep a journal or a diary, and this helps them to gain insight into their hearts and minds. We are all different and knowing our triggers will help you to deal with issues preemptively and in the moment.

Change the way you think.

Cognitive restructuring helps you develop new habits of thinking and speaking that will affect how you react when your anger is triggered. It’s helpful to avoid using words like “always” or “never” in conversation, as they tend to make people defensive and are rarely accurate.

Use “I” statements and avoid jumping to conclusions about the intentions or motives of others. So instead of saying, “Why are you always so lazy? You never help me with the chores around here!” it’s more helpful to say, “I feel overwhelmed when you leave the table without clearing the dishes away. I would appreciate your help with that.” You are expressing your feelings without blaming, exaggerating, or labeling the other person.

Relaxation techniques.

Learning techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and breathing exercises can help you calm down when you are feeling angry, and reduce stress

Develop your problem-solving skills.

Anger usually doesn’t resolve problems but applying creative thinking does. Leverage your anger and direct it toward finding solutions. If you are solution-focused, that can help you deal with your anger triggers.

Slow down.

You must learn to take breaks to reduce stress, but also in the sense that you shouldn’t be quick to respond to people in anger. Exercise some self-control and give yourself time to calm down and listen to what the other person is saying before you respond. Gain clarity about what is being said and think through your responses before you answer.

As the book of Proverbs reminds us, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control” (Proverbs 25:28). Anger can take you to some dark places; a lack of self-control opens you up to being blown around by every passing thought, impulse, or feeling, and that’s no way to live.

If these self-help techniques do not work to help you in dealing with your anger issues, you should seriously consider going for anger management counseling. With the help of a trained therapist, anger management counseling will help you understand the root causes underlying your anger.

If there is unexplored trauma driving your anger, therapy may provide you with a safe space and the tools you need to express yourself, whether it’s your anger or a sense of powerlessness. Therapeutic techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) will also help you to think differently about yourself and your relationships while identifying triggers and helping overcome your issues.

Your anger issues may have already cost you some relationships. Wherever you find yourself, if you know that anger is a problem in your life, seek the help you need and consult with a professional. It’s never too late or too early to begin getting your anger under control.