Counseling for Parents: Raising Kids Through Difficult Times

Raising kids is challenging in the best of times. Even if everything in your life is going well, waking up each morning to take care of a completely dependent small human will challenge anyone. In this article, we’ll look at the benefits of counseling for parents.

Parenting is high stakes. These are people, with eternal souls and hopefully a long life ahead of them, where they will experience so many things and influence so many people. How can you prepare them? And sometimes maybe the question is just, “How can I survive this and do a decent job?”

Throw in complicating factors like a pandemic, or virtual school, or moving across the country, experiencing grief or loss, being diagnosed with a chronic illness, or navigating bullying at school, and raising children can start to feel like an impossible task. Discouragement can set in, and confusion about whether you’re doing the right thing and taking the right approach.

Counseling for parents can provide support and clarity as you seek to raise your children in a way that honors God and helps them to thrive.

Common Issues in Counseling for Parents

Parents come to counseling for a variety of reasons. You might be surprised how many of them share your struggles because it’s easy to feel alone and like our challenges are unique. Here are some of the most common issues that lead parents to seek counseling.

Parenting troubled teens

Raising children is one thing, and raising adolescents is quite another. Navigating the teen years is uncharted territory, and it can feel like you’re completely in the dark. If your teen is struggling, this can add layers of complexity. Counseling gives you a place to process, vent, and seek parenting advice on the best way to support your teen and protect your wellbeing at the same time.

Behavior problems in kids

There are so many issues that can crop up with children. When they start displaying uncontrollable behavior, it can be difficult to know how to respond. A parenting counselor can help you understand what’s going on with your child, assess whether they may benefit from therapy themselves, and know how to best support them through this challenging time.

Parenting differences between spouses

Raising kids opens up a whole new world for couples. Some naturally fall into cooperative patterns, but others have a harder time trying to compromise, which can lead to conflict. Parenting counseling can also occur in conjunction with couples counseling.

Concerns over how to support children

Children who suffer from anxiety or other mental health struggles, sleep problems, social problems, etc. can benefit from counseling themselves, but parents might also want to attend counseling to figure out how to respond to their child’s struggles.

Support for caregivers

Full-time caregivers and moms who are pregnant or postpartum are at greater risk for depression. When your life revolves around caring for others, it’s easy to neglect your own needs, but your mental health is important and needs to be addressed, especially if you’re overwhelmed and discouraged.

Parenting for special needs or chronic illness

The parents of children with rare diseases, special needs, or ongoing sickness face challenges that seem herculean, just to survive the day-to-day routine. If this is you, make sure to prioritize your health and well-being. You deserve support and understanding as you walk through this difficult experience.

Support for single parents, co-parenting, and blended families

Being a single parent can feel incredibly isolating. Co-parenting presents challenges beyond that of parenting within the nuclear family. And blended families may struggle due to the unique factors of their situation. Also, sometimes single parents and blended families face stigma within the church environment, which can make it even more lonely.

Support for grief/loss/trauma

Navigating parenting during recovery from a loss or trauma often means living in survival mode, but it is possible to survive and learn how to thrive again. A counselor can help you with coping mechanisms and walk with you through the recovery process.

Relating to adult children

Parenting never ends as long as you and your children are on this earth. When your kids are raised, of course, you’re still their parent, but sometimes the transition is a little rocky. Navigating relationships with adult children can be tricky sometimes but establishing healthy patterns can make a big difference.

Parenting through other difficult times

Of course, challenges in parenting aren’t limited to the above topics. Perhaps you as a parent struggle with mental illness, chronic physical illness, ongoing stress, or other issues. No matter what your concern is, Christian parenting counseling can help.

Why is Parenting Counseling Important?

As a parent, you’re one of the most influential people in your child’s life. No one else will have the level of impact on them that you will. And as you know from being a child yourself once, that impact can be positive or negative.

As Christians, we know that God can redeem any situation and use it for good, so don’t be discouraged if you’ve made mistakes, or if you grew up with patterns of dysfunction or trauma. It is possible to start over, and Christian counseling can help you identify ways to grow, change, and thrive as a family.

There are many avenues for parenting advice, parenting styles, and tips on how to be a better parent. The multitude of voices can be confusing or overwhelming. One-on-one conversations with a Christian counselor can help you take a deep breath, focus on what matters, and identify the essential areas on which to focus.

Four Styles of Parenting

You might be familiar with the four main styles of parenting. Good Therapy explains what those styles are, and which one is the most effective:

Authoritative. This style of parenting should be the goal. It’s flexible, yet still sets reasonable limits. Authoritative parents tend to have high expectations, but they also understand there’s nuance involved, and they have grace for their kids.

Neglectful. This is a very harmful style of parenting, even though it may not be malicious, and there are different levels of neglect. At some level, though, neglectful parenting means not spending enough time with your child and not caring for their needs.

Permissive. Kids need limits and routines. Permissive parents may be affectionate and caring but fail to set boundaries or follow through on rules. They might avoid conflict and try to make their children happy all the time rather than doing what’s best for them.

Authoritarian. Finally, this style of parenting involves rigid rules and expectations, followed by punishment for rule breaking. Authoritarian parenting is characterized by strictness, inflexibility, and a lack of open communication.

It’s worth considering what type of parenting you experienced growing up, and how that influences your parenting style today. Your counselor can help you work through your childhood experience and what your parenting tendency is so that you can achieve a balanced and healthy approach.

What is Good Parenting?

According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, these areas are key to good parenting:

• Safety
• Listening and quality time
• Affection, order, and consistency
• Setting and enforcing limits
• Monitoring friendships
• Seeking help for medical or behavioral concerns

No parent is perfect, and we all have room to grow. Setting priorities, identifying areas of growth, and creating consistent routines can help you be a better parent, and there’s no better place to work on these areas than in Christian counseling.

Christian Counseling for Parents

A biblical perspective on parenting can sometimes be confusing. We want to teach our children the Bible while also allowing them to grow into critical thinkers who embrace God’s Word for themselves, knowing that we will love them no matter what.

It’s also important to know that not all parenting tips that are called “Christian” are good ones. Sometimes, “Christian” advice may not be in a child’s best interests. Christian counselors use an integrated approach to therapy, honoring God’s Word, displaying his grace, and prioritizing children’s safety and wellbeing.

We can trust God with our children, and with our parenting, living each day knowing that he will care for us, and learning how to love our children with his love and care.

If you are interested in Christian parenting counseling, contact our office today at (424) 361-6196. You won’t regret setting aside time to grow as a parent and experience God’s love for you and your children.