Building Self Esteem and Confidence

When you have low self-esteem and poor self-confidence, it affects every area of your life. You may feel unloved, unworthy, and rejected. But building self-esteem is within your control. No matter what has happened to you in the past or your circumstances, you can make choices that will strengthen your confidence and bolster how you perceive yourself.

Tips for building self-esteem

Building self-esteem is possible. It takes time and work, but you can do it by becoming the person God created you to be. God made you in His likeness and image. God loved the world so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die and rise again because He wanted to save sinful humanity.

But knowing this truth and living it out are two different ideas. Maybe you had a traumatic childhood or faced an abusive relationship. Perhaps someone criticized you and spoke negative and demeaning words about you. Counseling can help you move through those circumstances and begin building self-esteem.

The following are common tips for building self-esteem, boosting confidence, and improving character. You already have many of these traits inside of you, but you need to work on making them a conscious decision daily. How you behave and react is up to you. Be willing to work on the process of becoming and unveiling that person.

Be consistent.

Being consistent will help you achieve your goals and improve your confidence. When you accomplish something you set out to do, your brain releases dopamine, making you happy. This natural high keeps you working toward your goals to experience that sensation.

The only way to reach your goals is to stick to the tasks that will get you there. For example, if you want to lose twenty pounds, you must make lifestyle changes. You may decide to track your food and stay within a specific calorie range, avoid sugar and fast food, and work out three days a week. Each task must become a habit, a choice you make every day.

Time will pass, whether you stay consistent with your habits or not. But if you choose consistency over the easier route (procrastinating or not doing it all), you will see results. You are guaranteeing your future self to see a change. When you reach your goals, your self-esteem improves because you can acknowledge your success.

Be reliable.

Reliability is being there when you say you are going to be. It means doing the task or service you signed up to do. Yet, it seems that in today’s society, more and more people are less and less reliable. For example, do you call into work more than you should? Do you volunteer for things but cancel at the last minute? Do you know people that you just can’t count on because they let you down?

Being reliable is a trait that will improve your self-esteem. When you know that you are a person others can count on, it makes you confident in your abilities. It is another way to show kindness and honor other people.

This is not to say that you should allow others to run over you or use you without regard for what you need. Reliability means you show up and function within your boundaries to do what needs to be done and respect your time and others’ time.

Be persistent.

How long do you stick with something before you give up? Do you shrug your shoulders and stop if you fail the first time? Sometimes things work out differently than you want them to, but persistence will keep you on track to reaching your goals.

Perseverance also builds self-esteem and character. Can other people count on you to see a project through? How do you feel when you stick to a task and achieve a goal? For example, every November, thousands of writers commit to writing a 50,000-word rough draft of a novel in thirty days. For the writers that stick to the task and persist through the obstacles, they end the month with a new book.

When was the last time you pushed through to meet a goal? Are you ready to give up on a dream now? Giving up lowers your self-esteem. It may not be the goal that is the problem but how you approach it. Be strategic, reassess what is working and what is not, and ask for help when needed.

Be assertive.

You will feel unheard and unseen if you cannot voice your wants and needs. You might believe that no one cares or that you do not matter. But you do matter to the One who created you. You matter to other people. You need to feel that way about yourself.

Learning to be assertive yet kind is a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life. Your confidence and self-esteem grow when you stand up for what you believe in and stand up for yourself. Being assertive does not mean spewing insults or making demeaning comments. It is calmly and firmly voicing your opinion and standing by a boundary.

Honorable people respect others who can assert themselves without sounding condescending. This may not come naturally to you. Reach out to a counselor today to learn communication skills.

Be teachable.

We become arrogant when we believe we know it all. What we think is confidence is really arrogance, bordering on insecurity. However, you can go far if you are humble enough and hungry for knowledge.

Staying teachable and learning new things is a common strategy for building self-esteem. If you are already considered a master in your career or at your craft, where can you improve? What new skills should you learn? Is there another subject, interest, or language you have always wanted to learn?

Now is the time to learn those new skills. With the uncertainty of the economy, staying up-to-date in your field of study or preparing for a career in another industry could help you keep your head above water when finances are tight. Stay teachable, ask questions, and watch your confidence grow.

Be focused.

Your self-esteem and confidence will increase if you focus on your goals. This takes razor-focus. Do you get sidetracked easily? Is distraction a problem for you? Do you start projects and lose momentum quickly?

First, you may want to visit your doctor and a mental health practitioner to rule out a physical or cognitive reason you are having trouble focusing. It may be a physical or psychological disorder like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Once you rule out conditions or have existing conditions under control, work on zeroing in on your goals.

Distraction is the enemy of productivity. Consider working on your goals in small bursts. Try the Pomodoro Technique. With this productivity method, you block out twenty-five minutes to work on a project. You avoid all distractions and give it your best effort for those twenty-five minutes until your timer goes off.

Take a short five-minute break and reset the timer for another twenty-five minutes. You can accomplish a lot in these short blocks of time by training yourself to avoid all distractions.

Being focused also means not allowing negative people, bad circumstances, or toxic relationships to steal your focus. Keep your goal in the forefront of your mind and get to work. Your future self will thank you with high self-esteem and strong confidence.

Christian Counseling for Personal Development

Life can feel hard without confidence and high self-esteem as if you are drifting instead of intentionally thriving. If you need help in this area, contact our office today to schedule an appointment with a counselor. We would love to work with you in discovering who you are and what you are capable of.

God created you for so much more, and if you can only embrace your God-given confidence and work on building self-esteem, you can accomplish more than you dreamed.